Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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