I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
