barbara walters just said penis...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
