and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
