If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
