I could make wine with my vomit
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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