i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
