I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
