fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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