Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
