I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
