Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
