i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
