Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
barbara walters just said penis...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
