why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
