Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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