you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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