The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
