this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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