Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
