is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
