Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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