i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
