And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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