Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
