you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
