dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
