Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The air was thick with penises
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
