first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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