Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize