I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize