I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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