You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
