dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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