You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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