i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
