You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
