beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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