I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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