We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
