for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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