It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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