im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
