so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
