Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i think i just lost a toe
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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