that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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