They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
