i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
