I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Congratulations! We have a period
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
