HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
