Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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