so that wasnt chicken after all
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize