I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize