I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
