Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Two words: blizzard sex
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
