is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
