forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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