Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
