First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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