just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
