Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
