So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize