I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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