is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
