my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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